I am so goddamned blessed. Dad got a new smoker after we moved, some discount-rebate deal made it free. So since I work at a butcher shop, I got us a local raised, fresh turkey that he brined in salt water & oranges and he's getting it ready to be smoked with Apple chips. We're doing all the regular sides. Mom picked… » 11/28/13 12:02pm 11/28/13 12:02pm

I was an assistant manager of a blockbuster for six years. The writing has been on the wall for nearly seven years. The ceo was voted out, we had some crazy deal with Enron that went belly up (seriously, it was on the Blockbuster exclusive Enron documentary), and Netflix. Not to mention redbox after Netflix. This has… » 11/18/13 11:48pm 11/18/13 11:48pm

I haven't fallen off the planet (but my laptop has)

With the exception of a drunken post on Halloween, I have neglected my favorite section of the Internet. Finished moving, got a job that works me like a rented mule (6 days a week) and a newfound hobby (running, who knew, right?), I've been swamped. Not to mention a laptop that overheats like something that gets hot… » 11/10/13 7:27pm 11/10/13 7:27pm

I just don't get this. Bullying or scaring people into church isn't the same as willing converts. And who wants to be the asshole to ruin Halloween?? My mom's mom never let her go trick or treating since it was "begging". As a result, Mom goes nuts during the holidays. » 10/08/13 9:03pm 10/08/13 9:03pm

The Binewski's. Daddy was a visionary. Momma was a geek biting the heads off chickens, until they hatched a plan to create their own sideshow. Auturo had flippers and his own cult. The Elly & Iphy were conjoined twins and musicians, turned prostitutes who hated each other. Oly was the least remarkable of them, as an… » 9/17/13 5:31am 9/17/13 5:31am